A Prayer For The Woman I'm Becoming

To the woman I'm becoming,

I don't know what's waiting for you on your journey to the woman you're growing into, but I wrote this for you and every night I'll pray for the woman you're becoming...because I know you're fighting like hell to become her.

I pray you learn to master the art of letting go.

I pray you're strong enough to let go of the things, people, cities, and jobs not meant for you. I pray you let go of the relationships that bring more darkness than sunshine and the friendships that don't clap loudly at your wins as they do their own. I pray you let go of the picture you had for your life at 18. God's plans are always better than our own and I know you'll see on this journey that God's imagination is far better than your own. Let go of the woman you told yourself you had to be in order to be loved. You are are so loved as you are. And you will be so loved as you continue to grow, shed old habits, and form new ones.

I pray you continue to break free from the cages of your fears.

I pray you don't let your fear determine your next move. I pray you don't use your fear of failure as an excuse to not try..I pray you learn to let that fear of failure go. Failure is an important ingredient to success and you are not immune from failing. On this journey you will fail.. you fail hard, but please recognize that you are only a failure when you don't pick yourself up and try again. I pray you continue to have the courage to start over and keep on starting over until life feels right. I pray you continue to be brave enough to dream dreams bigger than you. I pray you learn to stop running from the things that scare you and walk right through those fears.. even if you tremble, even if you have to move slowly, even if you cry.. you are so much stronger than the things you are afraid of.

I pray you learn to love yourself.

I pray you learn to love yourself, completely and fully. I know this world has told you to hate yourself and I know you're carrying around bruises on your soul from the hands that didn't know how to hold yours... but you're worth will never be attached to other people. Or things. You're worthy because you exist. I pray you rest at night knowing you don't ever have to be perfect to be loved. I pray you stop pretending to be perfect.. the ugly truths you hide about yourself need love, too. I pray you learn to stop comparing yourself, but I also pray you that you realize that you are human and it is okay. Forgive yourself. And keep on forgiving yourself. If no one else deserves your forgiveness, you do. I pray you love yourself enough to surround yourself with people who remind you of your brilliance when you've forgotten.

I pray you learn to ignore the voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough. I pray you stop doubting yourself. I know that you tend to be blind to your own brilliance, but you have magic in your bones. You are radiant. You are God's best work on her best day. You are a answered prayers in human form. I pray you use the love you have for yourself to drown out the voices of anyone who doubts you or questions your brilliance.

I pray you laugh in the face of anyone who doubts you. I pray you learn to ignore the people who don't recognize your magic.. those who don't recognize their own magic, will never be able to see it in others. I pray you out-swim the vicious currents of self doubt. I pray you never shrink yourself for the comfort of someone else; your radiance deserves celebrated in its fullness. I pray you love yourself too much to accept half assed anything.. that includes love, work, and effort — and I pray you love yourself too much to ever half ass anything. 

I pray you don't give up.

There are going to be days when giving up sounds a hell of a lot better than trying again, please don't. Please don't deprive the world of your magic. And I know it's hard when the questions outweigh the answers and the doubts outweigh the certainties, but please stay encouraged. I pray you have the courage to keep working..even when you feel invisible, even when you feel like it doesn't matter. Your work matters. Your art matters. Even if only to a few.. it is divine and it matters and the world needs it.

I pray you become comfortable with doing the uncomfortable things. I pray you never settle even if it's easy. I pray you continue to fight like hell for the life you want.

I pray you continue to find peace in the chaos, strength in your moments of weakness, and comfort in your most uncomfortable moments.

And on the days when you feel alone and the growth is so uncomfortable that you try to outrun your own body, I pray you remember that I'm rooting for you. 25 year old me is rooting for you, so is wide eyed 20 year old me that just wants to change the world and believes she can, and 15 year old me that believes in dreams and walking miracles, and 13 year old me that believes you're capable of anything, and even 5 year old me that thinks you're a superhero. We all came together at 2:30 AM to write this for you.

The world doesn't even realize the ways in which you're going to change it..


Letters, dragsJayde Ware