Dear Beautiful Man
Dear Beautiful Man,
You have been sculpted to perfection by God.
And God only creates masterpieces.
Yet, you shake your head when I say that as if it weren't true.
I am enchanted by you. But, I am not fooled by you.
Because the hurt in my soul recognizes the hurt in yours.
Your pain has convinced you that someone else's love alleviates you from the task of loving yourself. Don't you realize that even if they can move mountains with their love for you that it doesn't save you from your self hatred crushing you? Beautiful man, don't you understand that even if the love they have for you could cross oceans that it does not free you from the duty of loving yourself?
Dear beautiful man, why do struggle so hard to love yourself?
Why must you play pretend?
Why do you insist on always doing things the hard way?
You'd rather do back-flips through your own hell than let anyone see you fall flat on your face. You'd rather use a make-shift first aid kit to nurse your wounds than admit that life has knocked you down. You'd rather suffer in silence than acknowledge the deafening shrieks of your demons. You'd rather someone else taste your darkness and go back for seconds than swallow your pride. You'd rather use people as band-aids than expose your scars. You'd rather hurt everything and everyone in your path than admit that the pain you cause is a direct descendant of the pain growing inside of you.
You are afraid and you tell no one, except God. You cry and tell no one, but God. You toss and turn in self doubt all night and nobody knows, but God. You are intimidated by wonderful things because bad things feel more familiar. You are so afraid of precious things that you break them, not realizing that good things only thrive when you care for them. And you cannot half care for precious things.That includes yourself.
Please stop half caring for you. Self love applies to you, too.
Beautiful man, don't you know that you can't evade yourself? You can hide from a lot of things and people, but you can't hide from yourself. And you cannot hide from God. Aren't you tired of trying? Isn't your soul weary from constantly losing battles with your ego? Aren't you fatigued from all those internal wars you fight? I know you must be exhausted from putting on that mask everyday. That one where you pretend to be whatever this world expects a man to be..without being too soft because soft men are weak, but not too hard because then everything you touch will crumble.
But, beautiful man.. you could never be weak in my eyes..
I know the strength it takes to get out of bed in the morning and face such a relentless world. I know what courage it takes to travel through your own darkness, collecting wounds like souvenirs. I know what agility it takes to outrun your doubts. I know what muscle it takes to outwork your demons. I can only imagine how weary your bones are from being superman all day. But, beautiful man, hasn't anyone ever told you that Superman can be gentle too?
Being gentle with yourself is a super power too.
Dear beautiful man, I pray you are never so lonely that you can't recognize God.
And I pray to God that you stop making homes out of the unhappiness you've grown comfortable in.
The world is so cold, I hope this letter can be your warmth.
And beautiful man, if you ever find yourself so engulfed with darkness that you can't find any light, you can always borrow some of mine. And if you ever need a soul to slow dance with, mine will be here. Because even though I am not fooled by you, the hurt in my soul still recognizes the hurt in yours. And our souls will always have a beat of their own.